To Truly Transform Your Health Stop Doing This
Today we're talking about a real heartfelt topic, which is critical for creating a shift in your energy level, your health, and your overall vitality.
That is the invitation to stop people-pleasing. See what I mean here.
You don’t owe anyone anything. If you are in a space of feeling chronically overwhelmed, stuck under your to-do lists, commitments or workload, it may be a question of too much volume or a need to better prioritize.
It may also be a symptom that you’ve put the needs of others before your own.
Many well-meaning, kind-hearted women want to be liked and have become accustomed to believing that they should be the ones to do things or give their time to others beyond what they actually want to give, so they can feel accomplished, and appreciated, and significant. Many feel ‘it’s the right thing to do’ or “I have others relying on me, and they asked so nicely I couldn’t say no.”
Look at the choices that we have and look at the areas where perhaps we are doing and offering support in time and services for others.
So often we can say yes to things or assume responsibility for things when people ask us, even if it is to our detriment.
This instinct to give, to put others' needs before our own is very natural as a maternal instinct. This form of overgiving to the point of sacrifice or martyrdom often comes from the subconscious need to fill the gap around not feeling good enough, a belief in not being enough, or that one’s own self-worth is proven by sacrificing your time or personal boundaries.
In working with women in the Natural Hormone Solution we put a strong focus on helping women to say no with love. We believe and live into the philosophy that setting boundaries is an act of self-love.
I encourage you to think about this in a new way. Especially given the importance of creating daily lifestyle choices that are going to reinforce your best optimal hormone balance so you feel amazing!
Practicing this is transformative, not just in terms of your time but also in increasing your self-worth. Creating a change in your hormone health is going to require some changes in your daily habits, so shifting some of your focus on activities that are pleasing to you is part of the change.
Self-care is absolutely critical, especially during your forties and fifties. Your body is hormonally shifting on purpose - it won't be able to push through. You will not be able to sustain the same activities you could get away with in your twenties and your teens.
Women in our groups often say: Yes to clearing the decks and creating more of a balanced schedule, but how can I respond without being rude?
Here is my suggestion when somebody asks you for requests:
You simply say:
“Thank you for thinking of me. I will not be able to do that. Best of luck going forward.”
“I’m so honored you thought of me first. I will decline your invitation but I know you’ll find someone just perfect for the role.”
“I will no longer be able to (insert thing you committed to). Thank you for allowing me to be a part of it all this time.”
The key to communicating this is to do it without needing to say anything else or explain yourself further. If you try to explain why you’re setting the boundary or use an excuse, it will invite the person you’re discussing with to negotiate with you.
Be grateful for the opportunity but firm about your answer. If someone presses you and asks why, you still are not required to give a reason, just “it’s not something I’m choosing to do at this time.”
The next part can be the most difficult. This is to be comfortable with the awkward silence that will follow for a few seconds. This pause, without needing to talk is hard at first, but it will strengthen muscles in your mindset that will transform your health, increase your energy, and reduce anxiety for many years to come.
It will dramatically increase your sense of personal fulfillment and self-worth which will affect your health for the rest of your life.
My hope is this video has provided some inspiration for you today and I want you to think about an area where you can create a loving boundary and stop people-pleasing.
As always, our team is here to support you. Simply book a balance call here.